10 Sure Fire Ways Husbands Take Wives For Granted

In any relationship, it’s crucial to appreciate and support one another. Unfortunately, husbands can sometimes unknowingly take their wives for granted. This can have serious consequences for her mental health. Let’s explore 10 common ways this can happen and discuss the impact on wives’ well-being, along with references to studies on the subject.

1. Lack of Gratitude:

Husbands may forget to express gratitude for the things their wives do, both big and small. Studies have shown that feeling unappreciated can lead to increased stress and decreased happiness in marriages (Schoebi et al., 2012).

How can you fix this? If you need to write out a plan or schedule to remind you to do this, get it done. There is no shame in getting help in your areas of weakness.

2. Ignoring Emotional Labor:

Emotional labor, often performed by wives, involves managing and
maintaining the emotional well-being of the family. Disregarding this work can lead to emotional exhaustion and resentment (Hochschild, 1983).

We process emotions differently. How you process is not more important than how she does. Be willing to accept this part of your wife. Don’t fight her over this because you don’t feel it. Appreciate it.

3. Neglecting Communication:

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage.
When husbands fail to communicate or listen actively, their wives may feel
isolated, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression (Beach et al., 2012).

You already know this. Stop being stubborn and practice what you have been taught!

4. Assuming Household Duties:

When husbands expect their wives to handle most or all of the
household duties, it can lead to burnout. Research has shown that women who bear a disproportionate share of household responsibilities are at a higher risk of experiencing mental health issues (Hochschild, 1989).

What can you do around the house that she does not have to ask for? Step up! She is your partner, not your slave.

5. Taking Time for Granted:

Failure to spend quality time with their wives can lead to feelings of loneliness and emotional distance. Studies have found a correlation between quality time spent together and marital satisfaction (Proulx et al., 2007).

This is one you have to be intentional with. Ask her what quality time looks like for her. Everyone is different. Don’t think that quality time is watching a movie together but you are doing work on the computer.

6. Overlooking Celebrations:

Forgetting or downplaying special occasions like birthdays and
anniversaries can make wives feel unimportant and unloved. Emotional well-being is closely tied to feeling valued and celebrated on these occasions (Larson & Almeida, 1999).

This is a major NO! Again, set a calendar reminder or something that will keep special occasions in the front of your mind.

7. Not Acknowledging Her Achievements:

When husbands fail to recognize their wives’ personal and
professional achievements, it can erode their self-esteem and overall
well-being. Studies suggest that supportive recognition positively impacts self-esteem (Gecas & Schwalbe, 1983).

How do you feel when you are not recognized? Be her biggest cheerleader! Resist the temptation to compete with her. You are a team. Her success is your success.

8. Disregarding Her Dreams and Goals:

Over time, neglecting her aspirations can lead to a sense of
unfulfillment and emotional distress. Supporting one another’s goals and dreams is essential for a healthy partnership (Hendrick & Hendrick, 2006).

This is a challenging one for some men. Do you recognize that God has a purpose and plan for her life? Yes, she is your wife, but what skills, talents, dreams, and aspirations does she have? What did she want to be as a child? Can you support her?

9. Taking Her Love for Granted:

Assuming that her love will always be there without nurturing
the emotional connection can lead to feelings of insecurity and doubt. Studies emphasize the importance of maintaining love and connection in marriages (Feeney & Collins, 2015).

This is huge! Do you assume that she is always going to put up with your shenanigans? If so, that is a big mistake! Would you put up with your behavior? Exactly! Appreciate her while you can.

10. Neglecting Her Mental Health:

Dismissing or trivializing her mental health concerns can lead
to increased stress and anxiety. A supportive spouse plays a vital role in
mental health well-being (Rook, 1984).

A reason this area is challenging isthate husbands are part of the problem. To acknowledge her mental health means accepting any part in the cause. Step up! Be willing to address you and support her.

Conclusion

It’s essential for husbands to be aware of these common pitfalls and actively work to avoid taking their wives for granted. By appreciating and nurturing their relationships, couples can build healthier, happier partnerships that benefit both spouses.

Remember, love and appreciation go a long way in maintaining a strong and fulfilling marriage.

References

Feeney, B. C., & Collins, N. L. (2015). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 19(2), 113–147. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868314544222

Gecas, V., & Schwalbe, M. L. (1983). Beyond the looking-glass self: Social structure and efficacy-based self-esteem. Social Psychology Quarterly, 46(2), 77–88. https://doi.org/10.2307/3033844

Grandey, A. A., & Melloy, R. C. (2017). The state of the heart: Emotional labor as emotion regulation reviewed and revised. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 22(3), 407–422. https://doi.org/10.1037/ocp0000067.

Hendrick, S. S., & Hendrick, C. (2006). Measuring respect in close relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(6), 881–899. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407506070471

Hochschild, A.R. (1989). The second shift. New York: Penguin.

Larson, R. W., & Almeida, D. M. (1999). Emotional transmission in the daily lives of families: A new paradigm for studying family process. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61(1), 5–20. https://doi.org/10.2307/353879

Proulx, C. M., Helms, H. M., & Buehler, C. (2007). Marital quality and personal well‐being: A meta‐analysis. Journal of Marriage and family, 69(3), 576-593.

Rook, K. S. (1984). The negative side of social interaction: Impact on psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 46(5), 1097–1108. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.46.5.1097

Schoebi, D., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Stability and change in the first 10 years of marriage: does commitment confer benefits beyond the effects of satisfaction? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(4), 729–742. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026290.

Whisman, M. A., & Beach, S. R. (2012). Couple therapy for depression. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 68(5), 526-535.